THE GREEN(wald) HOUSE … (growing rosemary & raising a little wolf)

I am trying to think positive and not stress - but I have a lot of worries that I am trying to release, mostly stuff like my baby will be too big, I will tear, back labor, and something freakish that will force a hospital transfer and result in a series of interventions and a c-section.
I am trying to make peace with all the various scenarios in my mind so I can let go of these fears and focus more on a positive experience.

Things I want to do - but can’t:
Get through a day w/out complaining of pain
Go to bed and not wonder how soon I’ll be up to pee
Wear just one pair of underwear a day (going through about 3 pair right now)
Bend down w/o contemplating the best way to do so, i.e. spreading my legs, using my toe, etc.
Bend down and get back up without making groaning noises
Stop waddling
Walk faster than a snail
Lay down in bed w/out groaning and endless rearranging of pillows, sheets, finally falling asleep to get up AGAIN to go pee
Sit down to eat something and eat it, not change my mind at the last second because what was delicious 2 minutes ago is now revolting
Unload the washing machine bending forward instead of having to do a side-bend
I would love be able to stay awake past 9pm without getting tired and cranky
and to share a bottle of wine with Joe with some sushi - yum!
and to sleep through the night on my belly!

This week is #34 - wow! I can’t believe it! I am feeling really emotional and bloated and uncomfortable. I feel like I pee every hour (at least) and I can’t sleep for more then 15 min on one side before I have to flip. I was getting terrible leg cramps too - but my MW told me to take calcium and magnesium supplements (packaged together called Cal-Mag vitamins) and I have not had one leg cramp since I started taking them in the morning along with my prenatals! Getting up to pee about once an hour during the night doesn’t help either. And sometimes the baby is so active he/she actually wakes me up too! I try to nap during the day if I can find the time, but I can’t seem to get to sleep during the day - I can lay there for hours and I feel a little rested but wish I could actually get some good sleep. I do think that my body is just adjusting to not needing as much sleep so that I will be used to it by the time the baby comes…

Another thing is that I am always boiling hot when I go to bed - even though the AC is cranked up and Joe is freezing and under the down comforter and I am on top of the covers, naked and sweating with a fan directed at me and a cold washcloth on my forehead! I haven’t really been hungry for much besides fruit and popsicles - Joe makes fun of me because I have eaten about 3 whole watermelons by myself in the past week! I am starting to get more excited and nervous about becoming a mother. Joe finally realized last week that he can celebrate fathers day for the first time this year as he is about to become a father - it was really sweet…

I am feeling very heavy and swollen this week - my rings are getting tight so I am going to soak my hands in cold water and take them off…

Baby is very active - my belly looks like an alien is trying to get out most of the day - it is so bizarre to watch!

For maternity clothes - I have been living in a few skirts I got at Target - but not in the maternity section - in the juniors (or whatever they call it) section they have a bunch of flowy peasant skirts with a big stretchy panel waist all the way around (I guess the teens fold it down and wear it on the hips) - they are so comfortable and great and cheap! Plus most of their tank tops are the empire waist stretchy kind that works great for preggos too!